CHOICES

DIFFERENCES

Everyone dislikes someone. Everyone living in a community dislikes something in the community: the age-condition-size of a home, noise from a barking dog-old A/C-music-TV-arguing-Mahjong, kids, visitors, too old-too big-too expensive cars/trucks/motorcycles/motor scooters, where and how vehicles are parked, trees or no trees, gardens or no gardens, ornaments, flags, decorations, degrees of neatness, unfriendly or too friendly neighbors, gossip-politics-religion-culture. Landlords-management companies-lawyers…..The list of personal likes and dislikes in a community, a country, and the world is infinite.

Wouldn’t life be a lot more pleasant if we just accept that everybody is different, sometimes very different, (and everybody makes mistakes). Some differences we like, some we hate, most don’t matter. But the acceptance, or at least the neighborly toleration of differences is what has made America, Taiwan, and too few other ntions so great and unique in the entire world.

Unlike the vast majority of countries, we don’t fight tribal, religious, ethnic, or caste wars. Some individuals may fight their own personal violent battles, but these are not legally or morally condoned by the government, by law, and are not accepted by the larger society.

Every country that is free, or relatively free, celebrates some form of Independence Day. The holiday is not only for exploding fireworks, barbeques, watching sports, getting drunk, and shopping for sales. Let’s consider, at least for a few serious moments, what “independence” really means….why hundreds of thousands of soldiers (our children) have died and been mutilated for it….and why people in every country, throughout history, have sacrificed their lives for it.

CHOICES

I just discovered something obvious (50 years late) that most of you probably already know, and so I want to share it…. When I look at things and people positively, I feel much happier.

There is a big difference between living in a house, condo. or apartment, and living in a community. A house/condo/apt. can isolate us, like a sealed hermitage, no matter how big, or how expensively we decorate it.  It’s the difference between the connected neighborhoods in old cultures (older than me), and the new anonymous technological world.  We are all in this together. We can choose survival (or extinction) alone, or survival together.

We can’t take anything with us, but we can leave a legacy of memories…. We can choose to leave bitterness, frustration, anger, and vengeance as our legacy. OR we can choose understanding, compassion, caring, contributing while we are here.  If we strive to make a difference now, our legacy will take care of itself.

We cannot choose our gender, race, culture, or loving orientation. We can’t choose to be rich, famous, healthy, or long-lived.  There are no guarantees.  But, sadly, we can choose to focus only on personal comfort, to use more than our fair share of resources, to pollute our planet and the atmosphere around us with toxicity. We can choose blame, self-blame, rejection, and intolerance.

OR we can choose to make the most of our limited time, our life skills, our relationships with neighbors….even if they are as impossibly imperfect as we are.  None of us are saints, not even the Saints, and certainly not me.  Still, very few of us are devils.  In that wonderfully gray human area between the extremes, there lies a friendly place that can include sweetness, creativity, sensitivity, tenderness, and even joy mixed with the pain.... This is my simple discovery, where I want to and choose to live.